GROWING IN FAITH BY QUESTIONING EVERYTHING

From time to time, someone I admire  will announce that they are leaving The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As I read through their list of criticisms, I realize that I know about those problems too, but for some reason they have not driven me out of the church. And when I think about why not, I realize that my refusal to worship General Authorities or practice blind obedience has served my testimony very well.

I learned as a small child that church leaders can make extremely serious mistakes--mistakes that do terrible, lasting harm to members of their flock. Because of these memories, I decided as an adult that whenever I was troubled by church claims or counsel, I would go to the Lord and get my own testimony of what I was supposed to do.

As long as something falls under my stewardship, it is my business to get divine guidance about it. And doing that, over and over again, has blessed me with so many powerful and holy experiences that I really don't care how many wives Joseph Smith had or whether the church is making the best possible use of my tithing funds.

The crucial issue for me is the Gift of the Holy Ghost. It is there when I open a book of scripture. It is there when I take the sacrament. It is there when I walk through the gates of the temple. Often I will sit in a church meeting and notice that my soul is soaking up the Holy Spirit in the same manner that my body would soak up water after stumbling out of a terrifying desert.

Does this mean I have no questions? No! I have tons of questions and I’m not afraid to pursue them. Does this mean I think the church is perfect? No! If we were perfect, we would be living in Zion, a community so perfected that Jesus Christ would be living with us. But I believe that we have been endowed at baptism and in the temple with the power to eventually solve all of the problems and answer all of the questions.

I have researched many different religions. I have discovered many wonderful people along the way--people who are much better than I am. What they lack is the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I cannot find it anywhere except in this church--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

And I could not live a day of my life without it.